He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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