no, he came in my armpit
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
should my penis look like a turkey
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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