I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
