I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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