Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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