So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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