I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
