I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
