Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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