3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
