No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
