Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
