your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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