So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize