well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize