I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
