butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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