Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
