Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
This is not my ceiling
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
