Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
