i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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