Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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