Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
