plz talk dirty to me
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
