I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
