Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
