Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
