Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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