dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
