I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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