Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
