no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just found a bag of teeth...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
