Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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