do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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