dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
