you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need to calm my uterus...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
