no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
