I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize