My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
