ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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