Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can't turn off my feet"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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