I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
