Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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