You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
