I wish they made helmets for livers.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
