You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
