i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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