I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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