I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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