I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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