To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
