If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
