Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
wow bdsm is so cute
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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