So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
