Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
