Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize