worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
