It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
