Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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