I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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