I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
