I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
