She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
