Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
