WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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