Are we in a gay sports bar?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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