he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize