my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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